How much should one share with the world on their blog?
I'm currently in the middle of some major family drama and I feel it bubbling out of me, but I don't want to overshare and say anything I'll regret later.
I feel the need to express my hurt and anger, but I don't want to hurt anyone around me.
My friends and family don't even know I have a blog. Should I go totally secretive and make up a fake name so I can just let it out?
Oh, the drama. It's big, horrible and I just might kill someone.
Thursday, April 30, 2009
How much should one share with the world on their blog?
I think I'm going to change the name of my blog. I never really liked "Got Marla?" and only stuck with it because I couldn't think of anything else.
I want a nice, memorable name. It needs to be something that is broad and can apply to many different situations. I have no idea what direction this blog might take, so I want it to be applicable to different situations.
I've been thinking about Reflections of Marla. What do you all think?
Now it's time for Thursday Thunks, one of my favorite memes of the week. Be sure to check out the other blogs that participated this week.
1. What color is your front door?
White and totally boring.
2. We discussed our folks in previous TT so now tell me about your siblings. If you are an only child, tell me whether or not you wanted siblings, older, younger etc.
I am actually the oldest of six. Yeah. I have one of those really big, crazy families that would make an absolute amazing sitcom. They are a blessing, but also sometimes they drive me insane.
3. What color/type butterfly is your favorite?
I actually don't have a favorite kind of butterfly. Is that normal? I like the big, pretty ones.
4. Will you be celebrating Cinco De Mayo?
No. I will be taking a hardcore final over the French Revolution.
5. Oprah- love her, hate her, or don't care?
Sometimes I watch her in the afternoon when she's discussing something really interesting, but I don't really like her. My family (and the boyfriend) are involved in the cattle industry and I think I'm still supposed to hate her for her comments back in the 90s about ranching techniques.
6. Are you worried about the spread of swine flu?
Not really, but I'm not planning any trips to Mexico and have been washing my hands extra lately.
7. Hard or soft pillows?
Soft. I like thin pillows too.
8. How many trees are in your neighbor's yard?
I live in a lame apartment duplex. I have no idea how many trees are in our "yard," much less theirs.
9. What was the color of the last car you saw?
I'll say that was mine... so black.
10. When does your driver's license expire?
I think 2012. It's a long while from now.
11. Look at the clock on your computer and type the numbers backwards.
12. When you put your pants on, what leg do you put in first?
The right one?
13. How would you respond to this letter if you were an advice columnist.
I am an ugly woman. I was an ugly baby and child even! It is a fact. I am 36 now and I have never had a boyfriend, and I am still a virgin.
Due to me not having men in my life, I have poured everything I have in to education and my career. At 36 I am the youngest (and first female CEO) at a big, successful, tech company. I have over 200 personal patents and millions of pounds in investments.
I have everything: huge house, holiday villa in Spain, 3 cars, power boat, a race horse, etc. but as much I try to talk myself into everything being “great” I cannot help but to miss that special someone to share it all with.
Most of my friends are married with kids and I feel like I am gradually drifting away from them also.
Where can I find someone to marry an ugly woman?
Really, I think this woman's biggest problem would be the way she sees herself. She obviously thinks she is ugly, so she probably assumes other people think the same. I truly doubt that is true. She needs to get out in the world and look for a man... I myself believe that there is someone out there for everyone.
Have a great day!
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Tonight I attended a lecture at my university about the ethics of euthanasia used during the Holocaust. Before they opened the Concentration Camps across Europe, the German Nazis had already began the process of eliminating those they did not see as worthy of living.
In the beginning, they would take deformed infants from their mothers, promising them the best care available. They would then slowly starve these helpless children to death. Later, they would move on to the mental institutions and hospitals for those with disabilities. A wide range of people could be euthanized, including alcoholics, those with TB, and the mentally handicapped. Even more, anyone who was related to someone with one of these broadly defined problems could be sterilized or killed.
German society supported these practices. These camps weren’t located far away from people. Often times, they were in the middle of towns and citizens had to realize what was going on. Society had scared them into supporting the euthanasia policies. Propaganda was spread about the cost of the disabled. Posters and moves advocated the superior Arian race that would one day dominate the world.
I tell you all this because I believe it should be known. I think people need to take time out to realize what humans have been capable of doing to each other in the past.
My mom works at a small, West Texas school. Recently a new boy moved from New York. His family is Jewish; although he doesn’t actively participate in the religion, the other kids at school still pick on him. They taunt him , calling him names like “Jew-Boy” in the halls between classes.
The bullying accelerated one day last week. A group of Hispanic boys wrote all over his car before lunch. They drew a large swastika and the Star of David with a penis drawn through the middle. The chalk they used severely scratched up his car.
The boy found his damaged car at lunch and immediately went home to show his mother. She was obviously extremely frustrated and called the school to complain.
This is where this story gets incredibly irritating to me. The school administration has been trying to ignore the issue and refuses to punish the kids who openly discriminate against a minority. They keep coming up with excuses and claim that they can’t prove who did it, but every teacher and student in the building knows just which group participated in the crime.
Allowing anyone to mock the Holocaust, in my opinion, is one of the biggest mistakes our society can make. History repeats itself and if we are not careful another group will take control and start weeding minorities out. How can anyone listen to stories detailing the appalling conditions in which six million Jews in Europe were murdered and millions of other “unworthy” races and individuals with disabilities were killed?
I’m barely out of high school, and I’m already looking at teenagers and wondering where our society is going. So many seem to have no real moral focus and are not bothered by the pain and suffering of others. Hand them an iPod filled with bawdy music and they will be happy. Why care about other people?
This attitude seems supported by so many parents and the administrators at school. My mother’s principal responds to her complaints of behavior issues with one standard answer: “That’s why I got out of the classroom.” He shrugs his shoulders and refuses to hand out punishment because he doesn’t think it’s his problem anymore. Why is he still in the school system? How can our teachers do their jobs when they have no real disciplinary action in the schools?
Furthermore, this story really bothers me because it involves one minority disrespecting another. This group of students often who claim they are being discriminated against if a teacher corrects a wrong answer and walk around with a chip on their shoulder if a white teacher happens to do her job. They understandably don’t enjoy being called “Wet-backs” yet they turn and openly mock the torturous killing of millions of innocent people because of their race or religion?
Some days I wonder what our world is coming to. If we can blindly turn our eyes to discrimination of a teenage boy based on religion and mock the murder of millions of men, women, and children, what’s to say that there won’t someday be another Holocaust? It is our duty to remind people of the atrocities that occurred during World War II and work to ensure that it never happens again.
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Hi guys! I haven't done much the last twenty four hours, so I decided to participate in yet another meme. Yes, I am so very original. The Sunday Stealing: The Mud Meme is pure fun and is hosted by Sunday Stealing where they work hard to find (steal) interesting memes.
1. What are your current obsessions?
Blogging, ravioli, and my boyfriend. I’m a very well rounded person. Yes. Yes.
2. Which item from your wardrobe do you wear most often?
Jeans. Like everyday. I usually don’t wash after I wear them the first time either. Why wash clean jeans? It’s not like my knees sweat and make them stinky or anything.
3. What's for dinner?
4. Last thing you bought?
Basic groceries- milk, break, cereal, ravioli, and frozen pizza. I actually think that might have been everything I bought.
5. What are you listening to?
The roommate and her horribly rude friends partying for the second night in a row… Hopefully they’ll be done before 2:30 tonight.
6. If you were a god/goddess who would you be?
I would be Marla- Goddess of Oklahoma… Wait, isn’t that who I already am?
7. Favorite holiday spots?
Red River, NM. It’s totally my favorite place, no matter what time of year it is.
8. Reading right now?
A history book? Actually, I’m not even doing that. I’m only skimming chapters that are essential right now.
9. 4 words to describe yourself.
Ambitious, blissful, reliable, and confident.
10. Guilty pleasure?
Blogging. I spent so much time on my computer these days.
11. Who or what makes you laugh until you’re weak?
Colby and my baby sister, Jamey. They are both amazing people.
12. Planning to travel to next?
Home! I’m really exciting about moving.
13. Best thing you ate or drank lately?
Goldfish… They really hit the spot.
14. When did you last get tipsy?
15. Care to share some wisdom?
Don’t move in with people you don’t really like or even know. Something bad will happen and you’ll be dealing with it for nine months. Wait- I’m not talking (writing/ typing) about pregnancy. You’ll have horrible roommates for nine months, not a baby.
16. Nicest thing anyone’s ever said to you?
“You smell good,” or “This is Martha; she’s a genius.”
Ha. I might be kidding about that last one.
Saturday, April 25, 2009
I'm currently listening to my roommate's annoying drunk parting. I'm sleepy, but it just isn't going to happen for a while.
I totally need to live alone next year. For sure.
I'm going to do this week's Saturday 9... because I'm obviously not going to be able to sleep anytime soon.
1. If you could have just one more conversation with a person from your past, who would it be?
Actually, I would have a conversation with my biological father. He died when my mom was pregnant with me so I’ve never got to meet him. She remarried a wonderful man who has treated me like his own, but sometimes I what wonder I’m missing. Do I ever act like him? Do I laugh like him? It makes me wonder.
2. Do your friends tend to be male or female?
My friends are now a mix of both male and female. I met a bunch of really great girls in the dorms last years. Of course, in high school I was pledged with constant drama from the girls, so I stuck closer to the boys. They are just more fun most days.
3. What is in your car’s trunk?
Boxes. In two weeks I’m be one my way back to my home town. It’s very exciting, but I hate packing.
4. What was the last CD that you purchased?
Taylor Swift’s Fearless. It’s awesome. Buy it.
5. What is your favorite movie and why?
I really like Flyboys.
It has one of those really great, make you feel good plots. It’s historical and patriotic, with a little bit of romance thrown in. Plus, it stars several very attractive men.
6. If you could wake up with a new talent tomorrow, what would it be?
To hack into the university computer system and give myself all A’s on finals without getting caught?
Or to fly. Flying would probably be better.
7. What is your favorite day of the week and why?
Saturdays… I LOVE LOVE LOVE sleeping in. Plus, it’s great to just hang out sometimes.
8. What are you wearing when you feel you’re at your best?
Jeans, a cute top, and awesome shoes. I usually feel great when I’m really comfortable.
9. When was the last time cried?
Last night. Colby and I were having a seriously conversation about my Grandpa. He’s adapting to living without my Grandma after 47 years of marriage. It seriously must be rough.
Friday, April 24, 2009
Sometimes I find a website I just can’t get enough of and it sucks me in for hours at a time. Lately, I have found myself attached to fmylife. This website is crammed full of quick little stories that absolutely make me feel better about myself.
I mean, why complain about dirty kitchens when other people are obviously having way worse days? Having several papers to write is no real problem when others are dealing with getting poop all over their hands, falling down stairs, or getting knocked out on a first date.
My life is perfect.
I recommend this website to anyone who is having a bad day. Hop over there and giggle, point, or even cry at other people’s misery. It’s healthy. Or something.
Here are some of my favorite stories:
"Today, my mother called me downstairs to give me what I assumed was going to be "The Talk" (About four years too late). So she sits me down, holds my hands, and with the gentlest, most motherly expression on her face tells me, "Honey, if you ever come home pregnant, I'll kill you and the baby." FML."
Honestly, I think this might be how I deal with my future spawn. I’m going to scare them into keeping their virginity. That works every time… right?
"Today, my girlfriend dumped me proclaiming she wanted someone more like her "Edward." I asked her who Edward was. She held up a copy of her "Twilight" book. She was talking about a fictional vampire. FML.
I’ve actually read the first two Twilight books, but I’m not totally in love with Edward. Edward acted like a total asshole in New Moon, and I’m just not feeling up to reading the rest of the books yet.
I cannot ever imagine dumping someone because he didn’t act like a imaginary character. Teenyboppers are so dumb sometimes. That would be like dumping a boy because he couldn’t sing like Justin Timberlake.
Not that Justin Timberlake isn't one nice chunk of meat. Yummy.
Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for awhile, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML.
Oh gosh. I once had a really intense make out session with a guy. It was going good until we stopped and he told me, “I could never date you. Because you’re not part of my church and are going to hell.”
WTH. I’m Methodist. I’m not exactly a demon or anything and this guy had just used me for a little action. Guys under the age of twenty –five should never be trusted. They think with their little head a too often.
Anyway, have a wonderful Friday and just remember, people out there are having way worse days then you. It’s important to laugh at yourself every once in a while.
Thursday, April 23, 2009
I've decided to completely fill my blog with memes. It's a free country, I say. I have the write to pollute the internet with my ramblings. I will do what I say here!
Okay, maybe I'm getting a little carried away with all of that jazz. I am really just trying to express myself. That's okay too. I think.
Today I'm going to try out a little writing prompt form Friday 5. This week's topic is totally up my alley, because I just LOVE ranting. Hee-hee.
1. What’s the most annoying sound in the world?
Just watch this video. I promise you'll find it funny and agree that it captures some of the most annoying sounds in the world. For sure.
2. Which of other people’s mannerisms do you find very annoying?
I am a tiny bit of a neatfreak. My roommates aren't. Our apartment would look something like this if I didn't go around behind them cleaning up:To me, this is totally unacceptable behavior. Take the trash out when it's full, place you dirty dishes in the dish washer, and try not to explode food in the microwave.
Nothing makes my head spin quite like a messy apartment.
3. What do you do that really annoys others?
One of my roommates once told me I'm too clean and work too hard at school.
Apparently that annoys others. Whatever.
4. In what way has your own behavior recently caused you annoyance?
I avoided writing a paper I knew was due today all week, because I would rather read blogs and take naps. That came back to bite me in the butt on Thursday night. It's all okay though. The paper is done and turned in.
5. Who’s the most annoying person you know?
I mean, who else poses for a booking shot like that? So annoying!
Lately my brain has felt like mush. I'm in the middle of writing two papers, studying for finals, dealing with family tragedy, and preparing to move across the state in exactly fifteen days.
I guess it can be expected if I don't exactly know what to write about...
But I didn't want to quit, so I turned to the wonders of Thursday Thunks, a handy little site that provides some wonderful questions for people to talk about each week.
I'm not sure if I'll be continuing this every single week, but I'll probably jump in every once in a while when things look good and interesting.
1. If you could skywrite anything you wanted, what would it be?
I would totally want to skywrite, "I Love You, Honey Bear" in big letters across the sky... I called the boyfriend Honey Bear this morning for no reason at all and it confused him. I think I'll stick to that forever... It might keep his guessing for a little bit anyway.
2. Did you get drunk at your prom?
Nope. I never drank once on Prom night. I never even really drank at all until after my high school graduation, and I have yet to be really drunk.
3. What is your favorite spice to use cooking?
Umm... I don't use spices. I really want to learn how to cook, but until I'm cooking for someone else, I really don't see that happening.
4. What color is your roof?
Black? I'm really not sure.
5. In a land far, far away I _____________
Wouldn't have to write ridiculous papers or Aricle Synopsis. And I would be happy. And the polar bears wouldn't be dying.
6. In the Miss USA pageant, Miss California was asked; "Vermont recently became the fourth state to legalize same sex marriage. Do you think every state should follow suit? Why or why not?" and her answer was; "Well I think it's great that Americans are able to choose one or the other. Um, we live in a land that you can choose same sex marriage or opposite marriage and, you know what, in my country and in, in my family, I think that I believe that a marriage should be between a man and a woman," Carrie said to a mix of boos and applause. "No offense to anybody out there. But that's how I was raised and that's how I think that it should be between a man and a woman." Do you think that cost her the crown?
Yes. I think that her answer probably affected her score. I mean Perez Hilton was a judge... Do you think he judged her fairly after that answer?
But this is the United States of America and she has the right to answer the question truthfully. Looking back on the situatin, I'm sure she'll be glad she didn't lie because she knew what they were expecting/wanting.
7. Do you watch Miss USA/Miss America pageants?
No, I think pagenants are dumb. My sisters competed in a local one a couple of months ago and I kept telling them- "There only judging you ass-ests." They didn't seem to get my view.
8. Have you ever driven/ridden on a tractor?
But I'm madly in love with a farmer. If I ever make it through the rest of this semester (which surely I will), I'll return home and spend lots of time with him on that tractor.
And I think that's sexy.
9. For the parents - what cartoon/children show did your child watch obsessively? (Hey, if you aren't a parent, maybe a niece or nephew...)
I am not a parent, but my little sister used to love watching Finding Nemo. She would watch it over and over if we let her. Now she loves iCarly, which I actually think is a bit funny.
10. If I set a level on your living room floor - would it show that it was level?
Probably not. I live in a cheeply built apartment building.
11. What was the last restaurant you ate at?
Ruby Tuesday's. I had a really yummy burger.
12. What's the picture on your wall calendar for this month?
I don't have a wall calender. I plan my life around a little agenda I carry everywhere I go.
13. Are you superstitious?
Not too much.
14. If I get into your car and turn on the radio - what type of radio station will I hear?
Country. And I'm totally proud of that fact.
15. Would you rather wake up with a snake in your bed or a lizard?
A lizard. They just are not near as scary. I would probably die if a snake was in my bed.
16. Do you think schools have changed at all since the Columbine tragedy 10 years ago? In what ways?
First off, I can't believe it's been ten years. I vividly remember Columbine and I was only in the fourth grade at the time.
I hope schools have changed since then. We need to pay attention and reach out to students who may be having problems adapting. Furthermore, I am a firm believer is school security. Schools must protect students. Period.
Well, that's it for my Thursday Thunks. I think it was an enjoyable experience. We'll see what I'm up to this time next week.
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Great Grandpa's funeral was yesterday afternoon. It was a beautiful affair that spoke magnitudes for the life he lead. This man touched so many lives in his eighty six years, five months, and two days that he was alive.
He was an airplane pilot who flew supplies over China in World War II. Sixty years later, he drove his mini-van like it was a plane. We giggled at the funeral about his crazy driving, noting that he never once crashed but made almost everyone in the family car sick at some point.
My Great Grandpa was a great man; he loved his family and God with all his heart. He braged about new grandbabies and was always there when someone needed him.
The world is missing an American Hero tonight.
My mom wrote an awful (which really means it just made me cry like a big baby) poem not long ago about Great Grandpa. It expresses love we all felt for him much better than my words ever will.
Florida and a yard full of flowers
A white tee shirt for me to sleep in
Cushioned yellow rockers and a warm lap
Vanilla ice cream right before bed
A comforting shoulder to lay my head.
Helping us move way up north
A big amazing doll house full of fun
Trips to North Carolina and a cabin in the trees
Big wooden porches all the way around
A good piece of advice- The best to be found.
Love for my granny and all his family
A scratch on mom’s table and a midnight confession
Trips to Florida, the cape and Disney World
A trailer park and a compost pile
Love so unconditional- I have to smile.
Taking pictures of me, my dog and horse
Tales and stories of Troy, Jeff and Nikki
A brave pilot in the Army Air Corps
Coffee, peanuts and a brown mini van
The greatest I know- This one gentle man.
There when I marry, so young and happy
A giant hug weeks later after Pass and Review
Taking Mitch to the barber for a short haircut
Blue stickers, a pass, and salutes on base
Of none am I prouder-That is the case.
The one I call to tell the baby news
There when I need him when my heart breaks
Pictures of me in front of funeral flowers
Long talks and comfort in my darkest hour
To help me see better days- He had the power.
The first to call when a new one arrives
Fighting with Granny to hold my babies first
Financial help for daycare so I can go to college
Happy when I reach my goal, encouragement when I fall
The rock of our family- The glue that binds us all.
Suits, a Bible and a small church
Advice again when I face divorce
Care for my granny when she was fading
Love for the Lord even when he was sad
Happy with Berlene- And for that we are glad.
A drive to the panhandle to see my new family
Accepting and gracious to Jim, Clay and Clint
Showing off Jamey with a big grin
Telling others of the grandson he has in the Iraq war
From him we learned patriotism and honor- That is for sure.
Pale and weak fighting the cancer
More worried about others then he is about himself
Taps, a flag and a place next to Harvey
Happy in heaven, we know it to be true
Rejoice in the Lord- We will meet him there too.
Written by my mother.