Friday, April 24, 2009

F My Life

Sometimes I find a website I just can’t get enough of and it sucks me in for hours at a time. Lately, I have found myself attached to fmylife. This website is crammed full of quick little stories that absolutely make me feel better about myself.

I mean, why complain about dirty kitchens when other people are obviously having way worse days? Having several papers to write is no real problem when others are dealing with getting poop all over their hands, falling down stairs, or getting knocked out on a first date.

My life is perfect.

I recommend this website to anyone who is having a bad day. Hop over there and giggle, point, or even cry at other people’s misery. It’s healthy. Or something.

Here are some of my favorite stories:

"Today, my mother called me downstairs to give me what I assumed was going to be "The Talk" (About four years too late). So she sits me down, holds my hands, and with the gentlest, most motherly expression on her face tells me, "Honey, if you ever come home pregnant, I'll kill you and the baby." FML."

Honestly, I think this might be how I deal with my future spawn. I’m going to scare them into keeping their virginity. That works every time… right?

"Today, my girlfriend dumped me proclaiming she wanted someone more like her "Edward." I asked her who Edward was. She held up a copy of her "Twilight" book. She was talking about a fictional vampire. FML.

I’ve actually read the first two Twilight books, but I’m not totally in love with Edward. Edward acted like a total asshole in New Moon, and I’m just not feeling up to reading the rest of the books yet.

I cannot ever imagine dumping someone because he didn’t act like a imaginary character. Teenyboppers are so dumb sometimes. That would be like dumping a boy because he couldn’t sing like Justin Timberlake.

Not that Justin Timberlake isn't one nice chunk of meat. Yummy.

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for awhile, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML.

Oh gosh. I once had a really intense make out session with a guy. It was going good until we stopped and he told me, “I could never date you. Because you’re not part of my church and are going to hell.”

WTH. I’m Methodist. I’m not exactly a demon or anything and this guy had just used me for a little action. Guys under the age of twenty –five should never be trusted. They think with their little head a too often.

Anyway, have a wonderful Friday and just remember, people out there are having way worse days then you. It’s important to laugh at yourself every once in a while.


Anonymous said...

Hey Marla! I'm so glad that you found my crazy blog!!! I'm so GLAD to hear I'm not the only "NORMAL" person who doesn't like disgusting lettuce. I just looked at "FMyLife" that is awesome! I'm sure we could all submit a few of those stories huh?

Seriously, THANKS so much for leaving me that cute message! You made me laugh! BTW- Jake Henry is ADORABLE!

Have a great weekend!

Makenzie said...

those are freaking hilarious!!! and i liked twilight- but i liked jacob :)